The Dude & The Precious: Grief and Laughter

The Platts family is special. I know I've talked about it before, but we're getting older, and our bond is changing and growing, and I like it. No, I love it.

Life is so uncertain, and I know this. I've tried to suck the marrow out of life with my kids. I take them everywhere and do everything I can to show them how to live. My family taught me this. Now that my Grandmother is gone, I want to embrace every moment even more.

My family grieves with laughter. Maybe this is unusual, and maybe not, but it's life. The Platts family is laughter, and the only way we know how to survive is by smiling, joking and laughing with our hearts.

The evening before Granny's memorial service, we gathered at Aunt Janice's house, where we have been gathering since I was a teenager. We ate salad smothered in Granny's dressing and looked at old photos, laughing at all those memories we all cherish so dearly. It was bittersweet.

There were so many smiles as we remembered Granny, Grandpa, Judy, Suzy and Tootsie.

We cry, of course, but it always ends in laughter. Probably because we are all completely nuts. It's perfect...for us.

The memorial itself was just how I imagined it would be. Uncle Mike, our family's patriarch, led us all on a journey of grief and laughter, as we stared at a slide show and inhaled fragrant flowers. Little ones played in the aisle, sometimes being too loud and too naughty. I know my Granny would have loved it.
For several days my mother and my Aunt Janice worked together to set up a table for the memorial service that they felt best represent my Grandmother. They did a great job. Everything on that table has some significant meaning.

Estee Lauder's Youth Dew perfume, Turtles, Pepsi with straw.

Praying hands, bible, birdhouse, Great Grandma Jones' pocket prayer book, tiara.

My mother and Janice even displayed Granny's bulletin board from the home.

The flowers were spaced out nicely, and on the center table sat Granny's ashes and a beautiful photo of the Queen herself.

Just to the right of Granny's ashes sat the remains of her beloved husband, Dale, along with a single red rose and the framed lyrics of the song my Grandpa used to sing to my Grandma, "The One Rose (That's Left In My Heart)."

"I love you, adore you, I do."

There were great grandchildren everywhere.

Rose wore her animal print sweater in honor of her Great Grandmother.

Emma and Lindsey

Jacob and AJ

We finished up the memorial service by singing one of my Grandmother's favorite hymns, "In the Garden," and then we headed to El Paso Cemetery in Derby, where Grandma and Grandpa would finally be laid to rest between two of their daughters, Suzy and Tootsie.

Makena and Lily

After Uncle Ross led the family in singing another of Granny's favorites, "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again," we were off to my cousin Lori's house.
It's strange how a death leads to a family reunion, but it's comfortable and okay. We're all in this together. We're family.

Then we ate. One of the best perks of being in this family is having catered Josie's. Thank you to my Great Aunt Sally for always feeding us.

Everyone loves Josie's Ristorante in Scammon, KS.

Great Aunt Sally with granddaughter, Micah Thomas, Uncle Mike, Micah's daughter, Kynlee.

Winnie and Dale's grandchildren. Yep, totally dorky. We own it.

Jeff, Jenny, Steve, Wendy, Sara, Beth, Staci, Johnny, Kent, Lori. Missing from photo: Scott and Diana.

My grandparents weren't wealthy in that they had a lot of material things. In fact, my mother grew up very poor. But in the end, what they did have made them rich. They had music and laughter, but most of all they had each other.

When going through some of my grandparent's things, my mother and my aunt came across a little plastic box. Inside there were 12 coins, the same number as grandchildren. They knew it was fate. I'm betting my Grandpa wanted it that way all along. So who cares that that is all we are taking away from my grandparents' estate. What we hold inside our hearts is much more dear.